S.3 EP.5 - Are you a People Pleaser? 4 ways to stop caring what others think

May 31

Break the cycle of people pleasing and give your best yes to where Jesus is calling you! In this episode Carla looks at why we tend to people please - and how to get over it.

Key Takeaways:

Carla opens by sharing that wanted to share on this topic since many listeners are suffering burnout as a result of people pleasing!

We don’t often associate people-pleasing with sin, but Carla calls out the root of it - fear.
Carla shares how people pleasing is just a transition from “parent pleasing'' - how children learn how to keep their parents happy at all cost - regardless of the child’s needs - and how it can cause adults to never exercise autonomy in practicing boundaries and even causing dishonesty.
Carla shares how her family has been shaped by parent to people pleasing.
Carla shares that people pleasers tend to have low self-esteem - not to be mistaken as humility (humility is not defined as “not liking yourself or not seeing yourself as valuable”)!
People pleasers:

Find difficulty in saying “no”, they are always over-busy
People-pleasures apologize and accept blame for circumstance where they are not at fault
Have a need for others to like them
Quick to agree, even if they don’t agree - struggle to be their authentic selves as they fear conflict

Ultimately, people-pleasing is an effort to earn love - chasing after the acceptance of Man, rather than the acceptance of Christ. This is not to be mistaken with “taking up your cross” - God looks at the heart of your “yes” and your “yes” should not be driven by fear of Man.
If Jesus was a people-pleasure, He would not have been nailed to the cross. Jesus was about pleasing His Father, even though it meant upsetting the Pharisees.
Jesus is peace, and that peace comes through the Truth, which can be offensive to some people. You won’t be EVERYONE’s cup of tea. If you are authentic to God’s will for your life, you can survive people not liking you. Carla shares her confidence in this truth through her current experience.
Ask yourself “Who am I trying to please?” Are you looking to serve Christ?
Carla calls out God’s calling in the life of listeners who struggle with people-pleasing.

How To Get Over People-Pleasing:

Take it to God. Ask God for forgiveness and for Him to reveal His will for your life.
Root Your Identity in Christ. When you are confident in God's love and will for your life, you will not be shaken by the opinions of others.
Get clear on your Values, Dreams and Goals. Ask God where He is calling you.
Learn to Set Up Boundaries. Determine if what others ask of you align with God’s will for your life. Do you have the capacity to do it? Do you actually want to do it?
It takes work to go to God and align your actions to your values! The work is WORTH IT. This challenges you to live a purpose-filled life without burnout or bitterness.